Recognize The Moments That Trigger Impatience.

Author: Lynda Benigno

We have all heard the saying "Patience is a virtue". We live in a world of instant everything, and so we have come to expect immediate gratification. When we find ourselves in a situation that isn't going according to plan or what we want is not provided right away, we tend to feel a flood of emotions. Impatience increases adrenaline, cortisol, and blood pressure that eventually leads to heart disease. You are also more likely to make rash decisions or damage relationships. On the flip side, fostering patience can lead to improved relations, communication, decision making and less stress that affects the mind and body. Patience is a skill that we can learn and with practice becomes a way of being.

Recognize The Moments That Trigger Impatience

Certain situations may arise throughout your day that trigger impatience. Perhaps you are waiting in a long line at the grocery store while on your lunch break or with your kids. You begin to feel angry or irritated. You want to tell the cashier to hurry up, you are on a time crunch, or the kids are having a meltdown. You can't understand why it's taking so long to check out. Making a list of these moments allows you to become conscious of the scenarios in which impatience occurs, so you are better prepared to use healthy coping strategies.

Understand The Feelings That Occur When Impatience Arises

We want to feel comfortable at all times. When impatience appears, it can feel like intolerable emotional pain. When we understand that uncomfortable is different from intolerable, we can better manage our response. Recognizing the feelings that occur is a response to our lack of control over the situation and is not as big as we make it in our heads helps to lessen the impact of the inconvenience you are experiencing.

Work On The Narrative In Your Head

The thoughts you have and the way you talk to yourself has a significant impact on your response to any given situation. If you are standing in a long line, you might think " I can't stand waiting, I have so much to do" or " Why is this line so slow". Perhaps you begin to think about other times you were in a long line and how you felt at that moment. You start to compare that moment with the present moment and feel your emotions heighten. When this thought process begins to occur, slow yourself down. Take a deep breath and acknowledge the thoughts you just had. Remind yourself that you are disappointed in the situation, and it is making you uncomfortable, but that uncomfortable is tolerable. The situation is temporary and in the grand scheme of things is not that big of a deal.

Practice Active Listening

Active listening requires patience. When we actively listen to another person, they feel heard, and our responses are better thought out. When someone is speaking, we tend to prepare our response while they are still talking instead of soaking in everything being said. You can practice active listening by quieting your thoughts and solely concentrating on what you are hearing. When the other person is finished talking, take a moment to think out your response. The conversation slows down, communication improves, and both people feel understood and heard.

Look At The Big Picture

Problem-solving becomes easier and less stressful if you look at it from different angles. Impatience causes us to make quick and sometimes irrational decisions. When you take the time to slow down, explore all of your options and the different outcomes associated with each, you are more likely to make an educated and rational choice. Even if a decision needs to be made quickly, taking a moment to think of the consequences as opposed to jumping to the first thought in your mind is always a better choice.

Desired Outcome and Looking from Another Perspective

We all have the ability to help or hurt in any given situation. When you become impatient, you may lash out. You may shout at the cashier to hurry up, become pushy, demanding and display outward signs of the anger and irritation you feel inside. Doing so will surely make the situation worse and have no benefit to anyone, not even yourself. If you are stuck in traffic on your way to work; yelling at the person in the car in front of you will not speed up your arrival, and furthermore, you have taken your frustration out on someone who also has very little control over the situation. At that moment you have to decide what the desired outcome is. Do you want to arrive at work quickly or do you want to arrive safely? Would an impatient response make the situation better or worse?

Breathe And Be Gentle With Yourself

When you are patient with yourself, you make room for patience with others. When you feel impatience beginning to arise, take a deep breath in and count to ten, then breathe out slowly counting to ten. Allow yourself the room to breathe between tasks throughout the day and remember that everything does not have to be done right now or in quick succession. In a world of now, slowing down may be just what you need.

The opinions expressed in this article are of the author and not intended to diagnose, treat or cure any physical or mental condition. If you are struggling, please contact your healthcare provider, the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at 1-800-273-8255 or the Stepping Stone Community Services at 330-577-6656.

How The Addiction to Dopamine Hijacks the Brain. (Part 3) -Stepping Stone Community Services

Author: Lynda Benigno

The goals of treatment for addiction should comprise of stopping the use of the substance, helping the addict remain substance-free and become productive in all areas in life including family, work and society. No single treatment will work for everyone, and as with other diseases, some trial and error to see what is effective for the patient is needed. One of the most effective methods of treatment is counseling and behavioral therapy. Treatment should also include addressing traumas and any existing psychological disorders. Patients should have a complete physical exam that includes testing for STD'S, infectious diseases and other health problems that the substance use may have caused. Detoxing while under a medical professionals care is preferred and a good first step. Long term follow up care that also includes support from family, friends or a sponsor will help prevent relapse. Restructuring the family unit through family therapy can create a loving and supportive environment that increases the chance of sobriety and aid in the healing process for all who are involved.

Detoxing and the role of medication

As previously mentioned, detoxing under a medical professionals care is preferred. An addict with severe dependence may experience dangerous withdrawal symptoms that can last from days to weeks. While not all withdrawal symptoms are life-threatening, they can be alarming to the addict and those around them. These acute symptoms may include, hyperactivity, sweating, nausea, increased blood pressure or heart rate, body pains or headaches, disorientation, insomnia, night sweats, fatigue, fever or chills, and hallucinations. A medical professional can prescribe medications that can ease withdrawal symptoms and aid in sobriety. These include:

*Naltrexone: Reduces relapse for narcotic and alcohol dependence by blocking opioid receptors that are involved with the pre-frontal cortex of the brain where reward is triggered.

*Suboxone, Probuphine, Sublocade: Reduces cravings and withdraw symptoms for those with opioid dependence

Behavioral and Cognitive Therapy

The goal with behavioral and cognitive therapies is to modify the patient's attitude and behavior related to substance abuse as well as create healthy lifestyle goals that will promote sobriety. This process works to keep the patient engaged in the treatment process and provides incentives to stay sober. Patients learn how to cope with everyday stressors as well as the thoughts and emotions that lead to substance use. They also learn how to how to remove themselves from situations that trigger substance use. By rewarding healthy behavior and consciously seeing thoughts in a realistic way, the patient will learn not to attach a negative emotion or response to their experience. Behavioral and cognitive therapies can be tailored to meet the patients individual needs making treatment effective.

Family Therapy

Family therapy has been shown to be more effective than standard support counseling. Family therapy is used to resolve family conflict, repair relationships and improve the function of the unit as a whole in a way that promotes sobriety. Family therapy will address the impact of addiction, mental health concerns and any trauma that is the result of addiction. Family therapy also helps to validate the experiences of each family member while developing new communication skills and healthy behavioral dynamics. Family therapy provides healing and sobriety for all parties involved.

12 Step Program

12 step facilitation therapy helps promote long term sobriety through engagement with peers. The three basic tenants behind this approach are acceptance, surrender and active involvement. Although the 12 step program was initially developed for alcoholics, the program is useful for various addictions including narcotics and debtors. The program is based heavily on religion, but those with non-religious beliefs have found the program helpful. The focus does not have to be on any particular religion or deity but rather something bigger than yourself such as the universe. The 12 steps are as followed:

*Admit that you are powerless over your addiction and your life has become unmanageable.

*Believe a power higher than yourself can restore you to sanity

* Decide to turn over your will and life to God; however, you understand God to be.

*Take moral inventory of yourself in a fearless manner

*Admit to God, yourself and others the true nature of your wrongs

*Be entirely ready to have God remove all of your defects of character

*Humbly ask God to remove your shortcomings

*Make a list of all persons you have wronged and be willing to make amends

*Make amends to those on your list except when doing so will cause more harm to the other person

*Continue to take a moral inventory of yourself and when you are wrong promptly admit so

*Through prayer and meditation, seek to improve contact with God, pray for knowledge of his will for you and the strength to carry it out

*Having experienced a spiritual awakening, try to carry this message to other addicts and continue to practice these principals in all of your affairs.

Role of a Sponsor in Recovery

Having a sponsor as well as regular meetings offers social support that is a critical component of AA. A sponsor provides one on one support and has usually had experience in the program for an extended period. Majority of sponsors make themselves available 24/7 so that there is someone available whenever the need arises. Since your sponsor is also in recovery, they can detect the early warning signs that you may relapse and provide the extra support needed to help you stay sober. Your sponsor is also responsible for giving honest feedback on behavior and thought patterns as well as helping you through your 12 steps.

Therapeutic Communities

Rehabilitation at a therapeutic community provides a highly structured program where patients reside. The time frame is dependent on the severity of the addiction and can range anywhere from 6-12 months. Staff members, as well as peers, play a role in influencing change. It is a group based approach that also includes medically trained professionals and other specialists such as a psychiatrist. The focus is placed on the overall health and well being of the patient. These include making lifestyle changes such as developing a routine as well as learning life skills that promote sobriety. The patients attend group therapy, individual or family therapy, education classes as well as participating in work-related responsibilities. The running of the community is based on everyone's participation and is highly structured. This tactic promotes healthy socialization skills and helps each person participate constructively in society.

Access to Care

Insurance does not always cover addiction treatment and when it does it may not include treatment for as long as the patient requires. When looking for a treatment center, many are surprised to find that immediate access is not possible. Restrictions placed on clinicians that include how many patients can be treated at a time limits the number of beds available at rehab centers. Without immediate access, an addict may discard the notion of treatment and continue using.

Addressing our response to addiction is critical. Accepting that addiction is a disease also means accepting it should be treated as a disease. Although penalties should be imposed for criminal offenses, addressing the underlying condition with the primary focus on rehabilitation would be much more effective.

If you or someone you know has a substance abuse problem, please contact the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration at 1-800-662-4357

The opinions expressed in this article are of the author and not intended to diagnose, treat or cure any physical or mental condition. If you are struggling, please contact your healthcare provider, the National Suicide Hotline at 1-800-273-8255 or the Stepping Stone Community Services at 330-577-4099.

How The Addiction to Dopamine Hijacks the Brain. (Part 2)

Author: Lynda Benigno

In part one of this series, we covered what addiction is and the physical and psychological consequences. Aside from changes in the brain and decline in physical and mental health, an addict faces a range of consequences that are far-reaching and often extends beyond themselves.

Impact on Family

Addicts relationships become unstable, and separation from family members is prevalent. Addicts often become isolated and may come home late or not at all. Other family members or neighbors may step in and provide care and support for the addict's spouse and children. A spouse, deciding they have had enough, may file for divorce and seek custody of minor children. Financial resources become depleted in order to support the addict's addiction, and unpaid bills that lead to the loss of housing, transportation or use of utilities affects the entire household. Fear, anxiety, depression, guilt, anger, stress, denial, and embarrassment are common for those who live with an addicted family member. Children of an addict may act as a surrogate spouse taking on adult responsibilities such as caring for younger siblings before they are mature enough to do so. The lack of positive role modeling, concepts of normal behavior and trust has a lasting impact on children. Finding it challenging to sustain a meaningful relationship with their addicted parent, a child may lash out in a variety of ways such as temper tantrums or disruptive behavior. Children of addicts are at risk of developing trust issues, impaired learning capabilities, difficulty adjusting to change, increased rates of divorce, control issues, depression, low self-esteem, violence, anxiety and are at a higher risk of becoming addicts themselves. A child born to an addicted mother is at risk for low birth rate, STD'S, Fetal Alcohol Syndrome or being born addicted to opioids leading to withdraw after birth. The spouse of an addict who does not use may attempt to compensate for the using parent's shortcomings by taking on the provider role. The non- using spouse, seeking to protect their children and provide emotional and financial security is often overwhelmed and experiences high levels of stress and anxiety. Asking for help becomes difficult because the spouse may feel a great deal of embarrassment and shame and fears judgment from others.

Legal Consequences

It is not uncommon for an addict to experience legal troubles. Impaired thinking leads to poor decision making and an increase in aggressive behaviors. Theft, driving under the influence, possession of a controlled substance and violent crimes are the most common criminal charges an addict can face. Domestic violence has been linked to addiction with upwards of 50% of violent crimes being committed by men who have a substance abuse problem. As many as 80% of child abuse cases are linked to drug or alcohol abuse. As an addicts tolerance builds an addict may resort to theft, stealing from family, friends or committing burglary at retail stores or residential homes. Depending on the offense, an addict may lose driving privileges, lose custody of minor children, serve time in jail or residential rehabilitation program.

Financial Consequences

Due to addiction, an addict may miss work more than those who don't use. Work performance may decline, and professional licenses may be revoked leading to job loss. If an addict faced criminal charges, an employer might refuse to hire them. Failing health, accidents or violence can lead to higher medical bills. Growing drug tolerance leads the addict to spend more of their financial resources on supporting their addiction. Irresponsible spending may lead to foreclosure, repossession of vehicles, loss of utilities and an inability to put food on the table. Legal fees due to criminal charges or divorce and custody battles; including the cost of an attorney, court fees, fines, and time lost at work to attend court appearances add up quickly.

If you or someone you know has a substance abuse problem, please contact the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration at 1-800-662-4357.

The opinions expressed in this article are of the author and not intended to diagnose, treat or cure any physical or mental condition. If you are struggling, please contact your healthcare provider, the National Suicide Hotline at 1-800-273-8255 or the Stepping Stone Community Services at 330-577-6656.

#ssfravenna #ssravenna #steppingstonecommunityservices

How The Addiction to Dopamine Hijacks the Brain (Part 1)

Author: Lynda Benigno

Scientific research tells us addiction hijacks the brain. The brain undergoes adverse changes that last long after the effects of the drug have worn off. Wiring in the brain is modified, and neurons die. The prefrontal cortex works with the anterior cingulate cortex in evaluating reward and punishment, controlling motivation, memory, attention, decision making, and regulating mood and emotions. Dopamine, a chemical released from neurons in the prefrontal cortex is released during pleasurable experiences. Eating, sex, exercise, meditation, or listening to music can trigger dopamine release. While a dose of dopamine from healthy activities is not problematic, the release of dopamine from stimulants increases the risk of addiction.

After ingesting a stimulant; dopamine is activated causing intense pleasure. In order to bring stimulation down to a manageable level the brain needs to adapt, so it offsets by reducing the number of dopamine receptor cells or increases the number of dopamine transporters. These changes cause drug tolerance leading to a higher amount of the drug being needed to achieve the same effects that were previously experienced.

For an addict, the prefrontal cortex and anterior cingulate cortex no longer function properly. The ability to evaluate risk or make decisions becomes impaired. The addict experiences changes in their ability to learn as well as memory. In severe cases, other physical conditions can develop such as damage to organs, skin changes such as lesions or acne and dental problems. Studies show those who abuse drugs are twice as likely to develop a mood disorder and substance abuse has an effect on any pre-existing mental disorders. Mood swings, erratic behavior, psychosis ( losing touch with reality), depression, suicide, and death are possible outcomes. Drug use increases risky behavior and leads the addict to behave out of character, which can have serious consequences. When under the influence an addict is more likely to have an accident, overdose, engage in risky sexual activity, commit violent acts or commit suicide.

The effects of addiction go beyond the physical and mental body. Broken relationships along with legal and financial problems are often consequences an addict faces. We will explore this topic in Part 2.

If you or a loved one has a substance abuse problem, please contact the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration at 1-800-662-4357.

The opinions expressed in this article are of the author and not intended to diagnose, treat or cure any physical or mental condition. If you are struggling, please contact your healthcare provider, the National Suicide Hotline at 1-800-273-8255 or the Stepping Stone Community Services at 330-577-4099.

Growing your Compassion with 4 Steps. Stepping Stone Community Services Blog

Author: Lynda Benigno

What is true compassion? The definition of compassion is  "to suffer together". Although conceptually similar to empathy they are two different things all together. Empathy serves as a bridge to compassion, allowing you to feel what another person feels.  Compassion arises when you are confronted with another persons suffering and feel a need to relieve that suffering as if it were your own.

When we feel compassion, we secrete oxytocin the "bonding hormone". The supramarginal gyrus, part of the cerebral cortex that is responsible for empathy, pleasure, and caregiving is triggered. Your heart rate slows and the need to relieve the other persons suffering becomes aroused.

I believe fostering compassion in ourselves and our children has the potential to change the world. I know, that sounds like an audacious statement, but I feel it with fierce intensity. If everyone in the world could look at other human beings as just that, another human being with more similarities than differences, how much different would our interactions with each other be? We all have the same innate needs, to avoid suffering and experience happiness. If we cared about others suffering and joy as much as our own, what would the impact be on society as a whole?  Will compassion alone will solve all of our problems? Probably not, but I do believe it plays an intricate part in relieving a good deal of heartache.

Here are a few steps that can be done to help grow your compassion capabilities. I have confidence in them because it offers a way of being;  if it becomes a part of your daily routine, there is the potential to alter the way you think about your interactions with others. When you change the way you think your behavior is more likely to follow.  

Start with Empathy as a Meditation Practice

 When interacting with another person put yourself in their shoes.  Sounds easy to do and for some people, it is an automatic response. For others, the first reaction is to go to self, in other words, how is this problem affecting me. Let's say a friend comes to you with complaints of marriage woes and the first thought in your mind is "Oh no, why is this my problem?".  Stuck in a self-mindset, you don't actively listen, and if you are not actively listening, you can not imagine yourself in their situation. The alternative is to choose to listen actively and imagine yourself in their position. Any thoughts you have about the problem should be mentally acknowledged briefly and then bring yourself back to hearing and feeling. It is the same practice during meditation while listening to your breath, you choose to bring your focus to what is in the present moment, a friend in pain. This mental exercise is useful in nearly any social interaction.

Kindness

At the heart of compassion is kindness, a simple means to alleviate someone's suffering. It does not always need to be a grand gesture. A kind word, encouragement, running an errand, giving a hug, or being a listening ear can have a significant impact on someone's pain.

Reflect

If you are in a situation in which someone is unkind to you, try to think of why that may be. That is not to say that you are looking for excuses to dismiss disrespectful or rude behavior or that such behavior should be tolerated. The goal is to respond in a way that doesn't return the same negative energy creating a vicious cycle. If you are talking to a person who has become combative or angry, before responding or reacting, think of the persons past. Have they experienced trauma? Were they not taught well as a child? Are they unusually stressed or tired? People who mistreat others are usually suffering. Their actions and words have less to do with you and more to do with what they are going through internally. Knowing this, you can respond with compassion and respect. If your spouse worked long hours, experienced many difficulties throughout the day and returned home in a foul mood, there are a few ways you could respond to his grumpiness. You can become passive-aggressive, avoid him altogether, match his energy and argue or you could say " I know you had a long and stressful day, and I would like to talk to you about it, but I will not do so until you have had a chance to calm down and speak to me with respect". While setting a boundary, you also acknowledge the pain the other person is experiencing, opening the door to compassion in action.

Self Reflection

Knowing thyself is one of the greatest gifts we can give ourselves and others. The act of going within to analyze our actions, words, beliefs or just the events of the day benefits our understanding of who we are and makes way for personal growth. Our own growth impacts interactions with others. Take a few minutes at the end of your day to think about your interactions with others. Can you think of anything you could have handled differently? Are there ways you can do better? If you were unkind, did you apologize?  Make it a daily goal to do better, one interaction at a time. Remember that effort counts and be gentle with yourself as well. Its okay to not be perfect every moment of the day. If you are trying, you are learning and making progress.

 The opinions expressed in this article are of the author and not intended to diagnose, treat or cure any mental or physical condition. If you are struggling, please contact your health care provider, the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at 1-800-273-8255 or the Stepping Stone Foundation at 330-577-6656.

Words that can build yet also destroy.

Words that can build yet also destroy.

Author: Lynda Benigno

 Words have potency, the potential to build a child up or tear them down, motivate or destroy. Your tone is just as important as the words you use. Infants understand facial expressions and tone before language develops. By the age of two, they are responding to verbal communication. As a child begins to get older, the language used by parents and caregivers have a stronger impact on social development, cognitive skills, and emotional development. Words are just words you might say, but science tells us differently.

 All humans have the desire to be understood, accepted, seen and heard. We seek unconditional love, the room to make mistakes without condemnation, and an environment where we can be expressive. Children are no exception. If you are a parent, think back and count how many times you have told your child to think before they speak. Now ask yourself if you are holding yourself to the same standard.

 Children who grow up in homes with degrading and accusatory language, hypercritical and shaming words, frequent comparisons to other children and veiled threats grow up feeling inadequate. The child, ever mindful they are watched from a critical lens can experience a drop in self-esteem, depression, guilt, anxiety, and an inability to manage negative emotions. They may feel self-hatred, become withdrawn or combative, engage in self-harm or turn to alcohol or drugs as a coping mechanism. What we know from research is the brain of a child who grows up in a safe, responsive and supportive environment develops normally. In a hostile and unsupportive environment, grey matter of the brain undergoes literal structural changes affecting the hippo campus ( emotion regulation), the frontal cortex ( decision making) and the corpus callosum ( sensory, motor and cognitive superhighway between the brains two hemispheres).  It is indeed a form of abuse.

 As parents and caregivers, we have an obligation to self-reflect.  It is imperative we work through our past traumas and baggage, so we do not pass our wounds to future generations.

  What words will you choose for your children's tiny ears today? Choose wisely, for they will shape who they become.

 If you know a child who is being abused, please contact the Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline at 1-800-422-4453

The opinions expressed in this article are of the author and not intended to diagnose, treat or cure any mental or physical condition. If you are struggling, please contact your healthcare provider, the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at 1-800-273-8255 or the Stepping Stone Community Services at 330-577-6656.

The Law Of Attraction.

Author: Lynda Benigno

Research into quantum mechanics shows the simple act of observation creates the observer's reality. If you are not aware of something; be it an object, situation, feeling, thought or person, it won't exist in your subjective reality. The placebo effect shows us negative and positive attitudes produce corresponding results. In other words, the way we think and feel creates our outer world experiences and often influences what action we decide to take.

Everything in the universe is in a constant state of vibration. The colors you see are all vibrations at a particular frequency as are the sounds you hear. Your brain is so powerful it can translate the waves you see and hear into something you can recognize. This translation becomes your reality. Like attracts like vibrations of similar frequency and they become drawn together. If we condition our minds, the outer world and our reality will reflect our new vibration. Just as the environment of a child can either enrich or impede development, your thoughts and subsequent actions can have a powerful impact on your reality and success.

When in a state of confidence, grace, and appreciation, synchronicities increase, patterns appear, and you attract people who are on the same wavelength. Vibrating on a level that matches your desired reality puts you in control of your destiny.

There are simple steps you can take today to help you manifest your heart's desire. The first step is holding a firm belief that you will have the desired outcome. Leave no room for doubt. Trust that the universe ( or God) wants the best for you and is conspiring to give you exactly what you need to attain your goals when you need it and in a time frame that will serve the highest good.

The second step is to behave as if its already yours. If your desired outcome is a new job, when you go to the interview allow your thought patterns to reflect your capabilities and strengths as if you are already doing the job. Like a mantra, you may choose to list these attributes starting with "I am " while getting dressed or in the car.

The third step is to take action to reach your outcome. Permit yourself to release anything that is not directly in your control. Take any necessary steps that are in your reach to attain your desire. If you wanted to start a business, you would apply for a loan, network with others who are successful in the same industry and research the particular requirements needed to get started. Your positive actions coupled with your specific thought patterns will help propel your aspirations into reality.

The last step is to practice gratitude. While there is nothing wrong with desire, appreciating the blessings and joy already present has been shown to increase happiness, deepen relationships and increase productivity. As a result, it helps you reach your goals.

Happy Manifesting!

The opinions expressed in this article are of the author and not intended to diagnose, treat or cure any mental or physical condition. If you are struggling, please contact your healthcare provider, the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at 1-800-273-8255 or the Stepping Stone Community Services at 330-577-6656.

A Meditation Time out.

Author : Lynda Benigno

When you were a child, you probably experienced a timeout. The purpose of a timeout is to give time to reflect and compose one’s demeanor. Whether or not timeouts are useful depends on who you ask. A little over 30 years of scientific research has garnered mixed results. What science does tell us, is taking the time to breathe does have positive benefits for people of all ages.

Taking conscious breaths throughout your day can be like hitting a reset button on your brain. Mindful breathing can improve cognitive functioning as well as mental and physical well-being. Slow deep breaths with your exhale slightly longer than your inhale, are stimulating for your parasympathetic nervous system. The parasympathetic nervous system is the rest and digest system. It is responsible for conserving energy as it slows heart rate, decreases blood pressure, regulates intestinal activity and induces relaxation response within the body.  Byproducts of parasympathetic nervous system stimulation include increased intuition and sound decision making.

 Various breathing techniques exist for therapeutic purposes. Conscious breathing is useful because it shifts your awareness, allowing your mind and body to pause and reset. If you are focused on your breath, you are not focusing on the stressors, and you begin to relax.

 I find conscious breathing most effective at the start of the day or the end of the day. Aside from focusing on your breath, there are no rules. You can sit in a chair or lie down on your bed. If you are at work or in a social situation, there is no shame in excusing yourself and going to the bathroom. Rest your hands comfortably on your belly or at your sides. Close your eyes and inhale slowly and as deeply as you can, count to 4 in your head. Notice the feel of your hands moving upwards as your torso expands like a balloon.  As you exhale count to 6, notice the sound of your breath and the gentle breeze produced as air leaves your lungs. If you become distracted by thoughts or noise in the environment that is okay, continue to breathe until you feel calm and relaxed.  For some, visualization is more helpful than listening to and feeling their breath. If that is the case, think of something pleasant such as the beach while breathing.

 Find what works for you and don't be afraid to make your own rules. Happy Breathing!

The opinions expressed in this article are of the author and not intended to diagnose, treat or cure any mental or physical condition. If you are struggling, please contact your healthcare provider, the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at 1-800-273-8255 or the Stepping Stone Community Services at 330-577-6656.

Say It Like You Mean It.

Ahh, communication. So many words to explain ourselves, yet so many times we feel like we aren’t being heard or understood. The result, we end up repeating ourselves, or using more words to explain or justify or actions. Still there is a misunderstanding, which often results in disagreements that lead to arguments. Most people don’t understand the 4 styles of communication (assertive, passive, aggressive and passive-aggressive), and don’t really understand the fact that they are not being direct and assertive. Many times, this has to do with how we are raised. If the adults in our home got their way by using aggressiveness, most likely they taught you that this is how to speak to others. If people in your home were passive and didn’t voice their preferences or were taught to take a “back seat” to others, they often become passive adults that get walked on. Why is it important to understand your style of communication?

·         Clear communication results in less disagreements and less time wasted

·         Assertive communication reduces the likelihood you will get taken advantage of by         others

·         Understanding your communication style allows you to learn ways to make changes and get more of what you want

·         Direct and assertive communication often raises other’s feelings of respect toward you, which can lead to promotion and pay raises

·         You don’t have to feel guilty about saying things you don’t mean or walk away with the feeling that you should have said something

The opinions expressed in this article are of the author and not intended to diagnose, treat or cure any mental or physical condition. If you are struggling, please contact your healthcare provider, the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at 1-800-273-8255 or the Stepping Stone Community Services at 330-577-6656.

#ssfravenna #ssravenna

Have You been affected by Trauma?

By: Bethany Latimer

Trauma is defined as a distressing or disturbing experience. An estimated 7 out of 10 people have been through a traumatic event. People are resilient, they make it through horrible events in life and continue to manage life, day by day. However, there is a difference in “managing” versus “thriving” in life. Although, we can cope with trauma with the help of friends and family, trauma often lingers in the form of depression, anxiety, quick mood changes and physical ailments like headaches, stomach aches and more. Trauma shows up in the form of nightmares, flashbacks and avoidance of situations that may remind us of the trauma. People may tell us “life goes on” or “life is for the living.” Though these people may mean well, it certainly doesn’t mean the event is forgotten or that we have healed. In some cases, we perceive the trauma as so shameful or humiliating that we keep it to ourselves. Often it takes a professional to help us navigate what the trauma means for our personal story and how we get past the strong emotions associated with it. Therapy is an excellent way to heal from a trauma and feel whole again.

The opinions expressed in this article are of the author and not intended to diagnose, treat or cure any mental or physical condition. If you are struggling, please contact your healthcare provider, the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at 1-800-273-8255 or the Stepping Stone Community Services at 330-577-6656.

It's Not You, It's Me.

We use the line “It’s not you, it’s me” when it’s time to end a relationship that just doesn’t seem to be going anywhere. We use this line as a way to save the feelings of the other person, but do we really believe it is “me” who needs to change? Not likely. We tend to blame the other person in the relationship without ever really taking a look at the problems we bring to the relationship (to save our own feelings!). Is it no wonder we end up repeating our mistakes in relationships? Do we tend to date the same person (different name and face) over and over again? Only to get frustrated at the time and energy spent on a person that doesn’t meet our needs. Well it is YOU! The good news is you can do something about it. What your probably didn’t know is that we try to “work out” our relationships in our early years by dating adults with the same characteristics. The problem is, they never “work out.” By taking a look at these past relationships with a professional, you can heal once and for all and attract a person that meets your needs and fulfills your idea of a healthy relationship.

The opinions expressed in this article are of the author and not intended to diagnose, treat or cure any mental or physical condition. If you are struggling, please contact your healthcare provider, the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at 1-800-273-8255 or the Stepping Stone Community Services at 330-577-6656.

#ssravenna #ssfravenna